By Nancy Hayes-Gary, Psy.D.
There are many reasons why psychotherapy is beneficial to people, but you might wonder how it works, especially if you have never been to see a therapist. Many people have been thinking about going to therapy for a very long time, but are somewhat threatened to make that call to schedule an appointment. Often, things that trouble people have gotten stacked up and are in a crisis mode when they finally decide to attend therapy. When people wait this long, it often leaves them feeling very depressed or anxious, or alone with their worries. Maybe knowing just how therapy works will serve to make that first session a bit easier, and even if you have drinking problems you can also get therapy in a rehab clinic from sites like https://bestrehab.uk/alcohol. You can learn about different types of treatment by visiting this website: https://www.addictiontreatmentrehab.co.uk/cost/luxury-rehab/merseyside/st-helens.
Therapy should provide a safe relationship, with confidentiality and trust. Confidentiality is both a legal and ethical law, requiring the therapist to keep all communications private, unless someone will be harmed from doing so i.e. suicide or homicide. Obviously, this type of relationship takes time to form and involves a good “fit”. This means that you feel comfortable with the therapist’s personality, skills, and approach. At the beginning of therapy, you may have to let the therapist know if they are saying or doing something that is making it difficult for you. Usually, the first few sessions involve evaluating your concerns and coming up with a joint plan for treating these together. It is often a relief to a person to recognize that their symptoms are, in fact, treatable.
Trust comes more slowly to some people than others, especially if you have felt betrayed or hurt in your previous relationships. Ways of learning to trust your therapist can involve determining whether the things she says or does seem to convey understanding and empathy about what you are saying, and is she working to provide a supportive atmosphere for exploration and change. The therapy relationship should relatively quickly evolve into an empathic, honest, and close relationship in which you can have the luxury of a space in time set aside just to focus on you—your troubling thoughts, worries, problems, and angers. The best therapy relationship becomes one in which you can say anything that is on your mind or has been a secret in a safe relationship of nonjudgmental acceptance. For some people, it is the first time that they have experienced being accepted just for being themselves, and this can be healing.
In my opinion, no matter what problems you bring in to work on, good therapy usually strives to assist with integration of identity and more satisfying relationships with others. Everyone has experiences in which parts of themselves become cut off or separated from the rest. This creates internal conflict and symptoms like unresolved anger or sadness. Working to integrate these cut off parts creates a sense of wholeness. Therapy is about learning to be you and accepting yourself without negative judgments.
Almost everyone wants to learn to be more vulnerable and closer to those they love, but past experiences or negative patterns in relationships may impede this wish. Therapy can work toward resolving the things that get in the way of presenting yourself as authentic to significant others so that you can openly share your internal thoughts, feelings, and struggles. As well, you can explore the way you have learned to relate to others, and learn patterns of relating that will assist others in more open communication with you.
People bring to therapy terribly uncomfortable symptoms, such as depression, anxiety, self-loathing, and loneliness. Often they feel skeptical that these long term conditions can be treated and alleviated. No matter what approaches your therapist uses, if the therapeutic alliance is similar to that which is described above, and you are willing to be persistent and motivated to change, therapy is usually beneficial. Therapy involves a substantial investment in time, money, and hard work. However, when you think about being symptom free, accepting of yourself, and satisfied in your interpersonal relationships, therapy may seem like a quite a good investment.
